I’m Back: New Shit Coming!

That is all.

5min Review – The Girlfriend Experience

Steven Soderbergh is a thug. His movies have a certain style that has to be appreciated. Even if you don’t like The Girlfriend Experience as a whole, you’ll find something in the style it’s shot or the way the story’s told that you’ll enjoy.

What is “the girlfriend experience”? It’s the experience of being with a female for a certain amount of time, and you pay her to be your girlfriend. This could mean sex but it could also just mean having someone to talk to, someone to hold or to confide in.

I really wanted to do a full review for this, because it deserves it. But I just don’t have the time. Definitely check this one out.

7.7 out of 10.

5min Review – Funny People

Judd Apatow can usually do no wrong in my eyes. I mean, come on, Freaks and Geeks The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Pineapple Express. He clearly knows what’s funny. However, with Funny People, he missed the mark.

Funny People seemed like it was supposed to tell the tale of a comedian who is extremely famous and gets told that he doesn’t have long to live. With a death sentence given, he has the chance to reflect on his life and things he would have changed had he had more time. But with a little luck, he is given more time and ends up not doing anything about it. He’s still the same worthless prick he was at the beginning of the movie.

How shitty would it have been if Jimmy Stewart hadn’t learned a thing during in A Wonderful Life? Wouldn’t have been quite as entertaining, huh? Yeah, thats kinda how this is.

6.3 out of 10.

Score could have been lower had Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Eric Bana, and Jason Schwartzman not brought some lulz.

5min Review – The Ugly Truth

I hate Katherine Heigl. Seriously. She’s not a “leading lady”. She isn’t a good actress. And she seems like she would be a complete fucking bitch in real life. So let’s talk about her new movie!

The Ugly Truth. Head of a local early morning news talk show has failing ratings and to save the show, a man-whoring douche-bag is hired to raise ratings. I think I saw this movie 8 years ago but it was called Someone Like You.

To save face, the only reason I saw this movie was because of a girl. I assume that pretty much every guy that has seen this movie, saw it because of a situation like mine. If you’re a girl, you may find a few things funny in it. If you’re a guy, you shouldn’t want to see this shit.

3.0 out of 10.