Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson? Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson? Natalie Portman… or Scarlett Johansson…? In the film adapted from Philippa Gregory’s novel by the same name, The Other Boleyn Girl we’re forced to choose. No matter how much we may want both…at the same time.. in a shower.
Set in the 16th-century, Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary (Scarlett Johansson) Boleyn are fighting for the affection of King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). Though Anne was supposed to be Henry’s main interest, Mary catches his eye. Reluctant at first, she decides to be his mistress and falls in love with him in the process. Upset with Henry’s decision, Anne marries another noble man in secret. Once the marriage is discovered, Anne is sent away to France in exile. Back in England Mary has become pregnant, but when complications arrive, she is confined to bed rest to ensure the child’s safety. While Mary is forced to lie in bed 24/7, Anne is called back from France to ensure Henry does not fall for someone else. Anne returns at her father’s request, but along with her hatred for Mary, she also has her own agenda for securing her status in the King’s eyes.
Let me first say, I chose Natalie Portman. True, Scarlett Jo is hot as hell, but Portman is just..the tops. Not to mention, Portman is also a brunette, was born in Israel and didn’t fuck Benicio Del Toro. But with that aside, literally everyone else I asked chose Scarlett Jo and while watching The Other Boleyn Girl I really couldn’t blame them. Portman definitely looks better throughout the movie, but she should totally win an award for being the biggest cock tease of all time. Unless you’ve seen the movie, you wont fully understand this statement, but take my word for it.
Though the performances from everyone involved were great, I’m sure the majority of the audience will not like the King Henry character. Not because Bana plays him poorly, but simply because he’s a dick. He’s the epitome of the saying “To have one’s cake and eat it too.” He has a wife and he’s king; he should be happy. But no, he has to have Mary. Then Mary’s not good enough, he wants Anne because let’s face it, we all want what we can’t have. So he get’s Anne, but then she’s not enough. Though part of me wants to shake King Henry VIII’s hand because he’s a pimp, the other half thinks he’s a sleazy douche who feels no need to repent after destroying two sisters.
I really enjoyed The Other Boleyn Girl a lot more than I thought I would. Thinking about it, I’m sure I would have enjoyed it a bit more if Tim Burton had directed it. There were moments that were similar to his version of Sleepy Hollow, but if the entire movie was his vision I think it would have been perfect.
Even after seeing it, I’m still sticking with my decision of Natalie Portman. But man..Scarlett Johansson does look pretty good..damn it.
6.5 out of 10.
Tags: DVD, Eric Bana, King Henry VIII, Movie, Movie Review, Natalie Portman, Review, Scarlett Johansson, The Other Boleyn Girl
